3 Important Tips for Co-Parenting

As you probably know, co-parenting is not always ideal. When two people have children, separating is usually not what they are planning to do. Usually you try to make the best of the situation once it happens. While it's simpler in some ways when only one parent raises the child, co-parenting at least allows the child to have consistent contact with both parents. Now let's look at some ways that co-parenting can be done without all the stress that typically occurs.

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Once in a while parents have an easier time coming to custody arrangements when they are based upon how much time kids are spending with each individual parent. Of course, there are issues that are going to need to be talked about that go beyond this. The biggest life decisions, like whether or not your child should change schools or how to handle things when one of you wants to move a long way away are just a couple of examples of kinks in the co-parenting wheel. There are some situations, like an underaged child who wants to get a job or attend a certain school is going to require parental consent from both legal guardians. The issues themselves are important, of course, but what is more important is that you discuss them as thoroughly and with as much civility as you can manage. Try to focus on what your kids need and want as you work through the issues.

You need to make sure that the child has input on whatever decisions that are going to be made. Visitations, vacations and alternate activities should all have the input of the child or children involved. Don't argue with the other parent! Try to talk things out, and always ask for the input of the child in regard to what he or she really wants to do. Children that are allowed to interact in this process end up much more happy as a result of this mutual decision-making. Making lots of plans without talking to the kids about it is never a good idea. Very small children or infants should be excluded from this decision-making process, mostly because they won't have much to say.

In a household where both parents live together, there is usually some balance in how parenting is handled. Any co-parenting relationship ought to be similar if not the same.

Things may get a bit out of hand when one particular parent is the one to take care of certain matters. With the division, one of the parents may realize that some adjustments may need to be made. Parents should be equal in the eyes of their kids; not one pitted against the other when vying for affections or sympathy. This isn't a satisfactory way to live even in a whole family and when it splits the children are left bewildered. When the two parents are able to meet in the middle and share mutual parenting skills everything should run smoothly.

Co-parenting is a wide spread occurrence these days. It can still create a variety of difficulties, though, especially when there's conflict between the parents. Except for when one of the parents is just not able to be a part of the transition; the best idea will be to set some standards together and figure out a plan. Remember that when there is constant bickering between parents, it's the child who suffers most of all.